Because counting candles is for people with too much time on their hands.

Stop the clock and bring the sass with our "How Old? Bitch Please" Birthday Card. This is the ultimate greeting for the friend who refuses to age, the bestie who is eternally fabulous, or anyone who treats their birth date like a top-secret government file.

More than just a cheeky jab, this card is a statement piece. Digitally printed and finished with glamorous gold foil, it adds a touch of high-end flair to a low-blow joke. Crafted with eco-conscious materials and paired with a sun-drenched yellow envelope, it’s the perfect way to say "Happy Birthday" with a wink and a smile.

Why this card is a total mood:

• ✨ Glamorous Gold Foil: The high-shine gold lettering ensures your sass looks as expensive as they do.

• 💅 Sassy & Relatable: The perfect "no-filter" card for your inner circle.

• ☀️ Bold Presentation: Includes a bright yellow Green Seal® Certified envelope that practically glows in the mailbox.

• 🇨🇦 Handcrafted Quality: Proudly designed and printed in Canada, because high-quality shade is a Canadian specialty.

📏 Specifications